Letter to TONY BENNETT
January 15, 1986`

Dear Tony Bennett.

Little did I think on the first day I entered Fleet Street (actually was just passing through by taxi to my job at Stockbroker Towers in the City, yeas, a millionaire at 21 and a pauper at 24, how did I manage that? Easy – I left the taxi outside the building and forgot it was there until a year later when an indignant driver said: (“Hey mate, that’s £1,000,002 on the clock, are you going to pay it, then?") I didn’t give him much of a tip, I can tell you) that one day simply by saying a nice thing about Knockabout Comics, it would lead to the offer of a job writing introductions to books. Just like Prince Philip. I expect you’ve tried Prince Philip already? Well, I don’t mind being second choice.

I’d love to write an intro for either book, but jazz being my great love I’d go for Max Zillion if I had to make a choice. £150 is fine. I take it you’ve tried Alexei Sayle already? Well I don’t mind being third choice. But if you’re publishing next month, haven’t you left things a bit late? You publishers. You’re almost as bad as authors. Talk about artists… Do you know the story about Phil May? Apparently he agreed to do the cover for some Christmas number of a magazine, but disappeared in November to go to ground in Margate, leaving no address behind. The editor got so distraught that in early December he went down to Margate and tramped the streets of that fair city with a sandwich board reading: “WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE?”

I take it you’ve tried Nicholas Parson already?

Yours