I’m sorry that I should have rung up while Hunter was committing suicide over the end of his new book the other day, but if it is any help I have a few hints to offer to those finding difficulty with the last pages of an oeuvre.
1. Pretend the word processor has cut the book off and there is nothing you can do about it by printing in capitals: SORRY MEMORY FULL COMPUTER RECOMMENDS YOU START NEXT BOOK
2.Somewhat surrealistically, segue into the reviews of the book actually at the end of your text. You can write these yourself, of course, but sign them Anthony Burgess, etc.
3.Do some ads for other books, like they used to have in novels and biogs years ago.
4.Write a test paper on what the reader should know so far.
5.Make the last page an application form for a GOLD Mastercard.
6.Make the last line CONTINUED IN VOLUME 2.
7.Make the last line THIS PUBLISHER HAS JUST BEEN BOUGHT BY RUPERT MURDOCH AND I REFUSE TO WRITE A SINGLE WORD FOR HIM.
8.If all else fails, reprint the beginning of the book back to front and upside down.