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The Bishop of Bath & Wells






The Independent

The Bishop of Bath and Wells

a copy of which hangs, framed, in the Palace at Wells. John Bickersteth was Bishop at the time.

I am the Bishop of Bath and Wells,
I wear the most delicious smells –
Cologne at matins, Brut at dusk
And late at night a trace of musk
For eau de cologne should never trespass
On a well-conducted vespers.
All good churches have a basin
Which I can wash my hands and face in;
For great are charity, faith and hope
Yet greater than all of these is soap.
Before I grant my absolutions
I take the most divine ablutions.
There may be many first-class preachers
But only one that smells of peaches
And leaves in every rural nave
A heavenly lingering aftershave.
Hear the organist thunder loud!
To greet the faint approaching cloud
Hear him play as Handel would –
Inspired by fragrant sandalwood
- See the conquering hero come
Smellling faintly of bay rum!
Tis I, the bishop! Magnificat!
Anointed with essence of kumquat!
Bow, ye watchers! Clear a path!
I am the Bishop of Wells and Bath!

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