The Columnist
  Toad of Toad Hall
  Save GB Appeal
  A Reflection on Perfection
  Nixon's First Novel
  Pick of Punch
  Poets Corner
  Countryside Tales
  How much do you know about the weather?
  Punch Revisited
  Love Letters to a Doctor
  The New Scottish Parliament
  Punch on Scotland
  New Scottish Anthem
  Love Borrowed
  Gardeners Question Time
  Italian Phrase Book
Latin Tourist Phrase Book
  Unpublished Masterpieces




The Latin tourist Phrase Book

Quid proquo: the sterling exchange rate
Post hoc propter hoc: a little more wine wouldn’t hurt us
Ad hoc: wine not included
Adsum: small extras on the bill
Exempli gratia: token tip
Infra Dig: terrible accommodation
Primus inter pares: the stove has fallen into the fire
Compos mentis: mint sauce
Carpe diem: fish frying tonight
Non anglii, sed angeli: fishing absolutely prohibited
Curriculum: Indian restaurant
Casus belli: gastro-enteritis
Sic transit gloria mundi: the nausea will pass away, and you’ll be fine by Monday
O temporal o mores!: The Times is no more, alas!
Quis custodiet custodes ipsos: do you keep the Guardian?
Post meridiem: the Mail does not arrive until midday
Fiat lux: car wash
Rara avis: no car available
Volenti non fit injuria: the accident was caused by a badly fitted steering wheel.
Reductio ad absurdum: road narrows
Nil obstat: River Nile impassable
Nil desperandum: River Nile overflowing
De minimis non curat lex: Lex garages cannot undertake to service small cars
Terminus ad quem: bus station for Quem (small Romanian town)
Caeteris paribus: restaurant facilities are available on the Paris coach
Post mortem: mail strike
Expostfacto: not known at this address
Sub Rosa: rather unattractive Italian girl
Sal volatile: rather attractive Italian girl
Gloria in excelsis: very attractive Italian girl
Noli me tangere: I do not wish to dance with you
Ars longa, vita brevis: unsuitable bathing costume (literally: big bottom, small brief)
Hic jacet: old-fashioned coat
Ecc homo: gay bar
Timeo Danaos et Dona Ferentes: that nice couple we met in Portugal
Mens sana: male massage parlour
Ex libris: dirty books
Ex cathedra: ruined church
Inter alia: an Italian airline
Summa cum laude: peak holiday period
In loco parentis: railway family compartment
Quondam: part of Holland reclaimed from the sea
Dum spiro: stupid Greek person
Festina lente: shops shut on Continent (literally: Lenten holiday)
Aut Caesar aut nihil:  an Italian football result
Tertium quid: 33p

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